The Magical Mystery Tour
Into Plant Medicine
When we ended the rehabs and sober living part of my story, I had come to the conclusion that none of that was working, so I started to ask myself: what else is out there?
That’s how I stumbled upon plant medicines. I began to research ibogaine. I read every article I could find. I knew it wasn’t legal in the US and there were some concerns about people with heart issues, but it seemed to be like a miracle cure. We lived in California, so getting across the border to Mexico was very easy for us. We decided to go with a facility called Crossroads in Tijuana. The people there were absolutely fantastic. There are certainly a million fly by nights and you have to be very careful in choosing a facility, but we were lucky.
While I was researching ibogaine, a friend connected me with a retired military officer and scientist who was working on brain mapping for veterans with severe PTSD. My daughter did about fifteen or twenty sessions of brain mapping, trying to calm her brain down. But the problem was that my daughter was using the whole time. So we decided to go with ibogaine for acute detox from the substances. We decided after a lot of research and finding the right facility that we would do this experience for her.
The ibogaine experience itself was amazing for her. I spoke with her immediately after and I just remember her saying, “I’m free. I’m free, Mom. I have no cravings. I’m completely free.” She had a lot of visions, and some serious childhood trauma came up. I don’t think the facility was prepared to deal with the aftermath of that. She was crying non-stop, and they tried to help her, but they realized that they should recommend she go to an aftercare program. They did also treat her with 5-MeO-DMT and that helped settle her anxiety a bit-but her trauma was unleashed with nowhere to go. Ibogaine is great for immediate detox. You must have a plan for what happens after that.
My daughter shared some reflections on her experience with ibogaine:
The ibogaine was incredible. I remember as we were leaving the clinic and going back to the beach house to recuperate. I was looking out the window of the van and into the hills and I started bawling. Everyone was talking, doing normal things, and I’m sitting in the back as this overwhelming contentment came over me. I suddenly realized, “I’m okay for the first time in my whole adult life.” I was sitting in a van with people, and I didn’t need to be altered in some way. I’ve always needed something to be okay. I sat there in happy tears, like wow, this can’t be real. I was so happy. I was so okay. I was okay with being okay. I was okay and happily neutral about being okay, not super up or super down. I’ve always been eccentric in the sense where I have to feel lit up all of the time. If I’m not, then things are out of control. For the first time, I was just okay.
The problem was while the ibogaine stopped the physical aspects of withdrawal, it opened a Pandora’s Box of traumatic memories. I was not at all prepared to deal with them, and I started crying nonstop. We realized that ibogaine alone is not enough: people need a solid plan for aftercare.
We found a fantastic aftercare program outside of Mexico City. My daughter was in a bad place; she just could not stop crying. The man who had done brain mapping with her agreed to pick her up in Mexico and get her on a flight to the aftercare facility. He did and got her into a hotel room to wait for a flight out the next day. But she dipped out in the middle of the night. Thank heaven he found her, on the streets, in an alley. She needed medical care, and she was in terrible shape. We abandoned the idea of the aftercare facility for now and took her home.
She returned to use when she got home. We decided to try it all again, this time packaged with immediate aftercare. So we went to a different facility that the aftercare program recommended, and it was fantastic. She had another great experience: she was an active heroin user, she used ibogaine, and boom, her cravings were gone. She got on a flight and went to the aftercare program.
I flew out to the aftercare program, where she was for three months. They offered a retreat at a different facility where they brought people in from all over the world to experience other plant medicines. A shaman from Columbia brought ayahuasca, a plant medicine that has been used since ancient times, and we did it together with the group, three or four times during the week when we were there. We also participated in a few Tamazcal Ceremonies which we found very cleansing and healing. She had a good experience and was able to call out some of her demons. My experience was not as good and in hindsight I probably should not have been with her during this experience, I was so overwhelmed with worry and wanting so badly for her pain to be lifted from her- I was really unable to benefit from the medicine.
This is what indigenous people did to help their people when they were suffering, from anything. She did so well that the program offered her housing if she would come back and help people who were just coming in. They were taking a three-week break, and her dealer lived where we lived, so we decided to just not bring her home. We traveled around the country, visiting friends all around the United States, along with a friend she had made at the program who came with us. Once it was time for the two of them to go back to Mexico City, we dropped them off at the airport. We heard from them as they arrived in Mexico City safely. The driver that was there to pick them up went to get the car. My daughter went to smoke a cigarette while waiting for him and then just disappeared. Her friend and the driver looked everywhere to find her at the airport- but she was just gone. I remember saying to my husband as we boarded the plane “I am not coming back without her” I thought for sure she was gone. My daughter, the survivor, somehow found a way to call us and we were able to get her 72 hours later with more added trauma. All her belongings were gone including her ID and Passport. Getting her out of the country was extremely difficult.
My daughter’s initial experiences with ibogaine were both good, but the consequences could have been horrible as we were in a foreign country.
That is why this treatment needs to be available in the United States and everywhere. It’s not a cure-all, but it can save lives. Our children fear the pain of withdrawal and detox and Ibogaine takes ALL that away and does for so many- help with unresolved trauma.
We have our eye on Kentucky, which with the highest overdose death rate in the country, has taken the bold step of creating the Kentucky Ibogaine Initiative. According to their website:
The Kentucky Opioid Abatement Advisory Commission (KYOAAC) has been appointed with the distribution of half of the state's $842 million settlement from opioid distributors. The funds are to be used for interventional, therapeutic, and recovery services for the individuals, families, and communities who have been ravaged by the state's opioid addiction epidemic.
KYOAAC is considering funding to facilitate research into ibogaine therapy for the treatment of Opioid Use Disorder (OUD). To accomplish this, KYOAAC is considering the allocation of up to $42 million of the settlement funds to develop the first-ever double-blind, placebo-controlled clinical trials of ibogaine therapy for OUD. These trials, if successful, will lay the groundwork for larger Phase 3 trials to make ibogaine therapy a legal prescription treatment for OUD, covered by insurance and public health care plans.
The US has the opportunity to put the funding into research that could bring Ibogaine therapy to people who need it. Ibogaine must be made legal and available in the entire United States. Our children are dying, and this plant medication is a tool that must not be overlooked.
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